Tips for families who are at home because of the coronavirus

Suddenly, a large number of families are at home, because of the coronavirus. Where the parents went to work and the children to school, everyone does not leave now and stays at home. Family life and work and school are combined within the walls of home. It is suddenly very hard for many parents to organize everything. Children no longer have their freedom to play with other children and parents no longer have an outlet in their work, hobbies or other activities.

Family patterns are now coming under pressure. It’s kind of the same as when summer vacation arrives. Everyone suddenly gets together. In itself that is also very nice, but it also creates a lot of mutual tension. And that tension is magnified. The longer it will take, the more patterns will come under pressure. The tension that parents and children experience can lead to outbursts and arguments. It is also possible that the tension is there, but is slid under the carpet. You can actually speak of “silent bursts”.

Each family has its own pattern and deals with it in its own way. Everyone’s style of communicating, accepting and handling conflict differs. In any case, everyone has to deal with a suddenly changed situation and everyone has to adapt. Here are some tips for parents to keep calm in the family and to streamline the situation a bit.

– Search for the best rhythm together. Make arrangements about things such as what time can the children get up, where do they work on their school work and for how long, when can the children go outside, when they eat and when they watch TV. Children can think very well in this.

– It is important that children can do their school work and that parents can do their work. You can achieve this by making clear agreements with each other and coordinating with your partner who is watching the children and when. The children will have to be instructed when they can and cannot do things and at what times which parent is in charge.

– Once you have found a rhythm together, it is important to keep it up. This provides structure, clarity and overview. The predictability that results from this is good for children. It brings peace to the whole family and allows everyone to get used to the new situation.

– It is not entirely unimportant that you take moments as a family to talk to each other about the coronacrisis. Children can be worried and have all kinds of questions. It is important that you as a parent are open to these questions and try to answer them as carefully as possible. Not that you have an answer to all questions, but that you are open to the question itself and that you and your child can agree that it is a good question, but unfortunately there is not always an answer. For example, nobody knows how long this situation will last or how many people will be affected.

– As a parent you have an important role model in this situation. Children pay close attention to their parents for confusion. They adapt their own behavior to this. Try not to panic too quickly or downplay government measures. Keep communication with your child open, be calm and discuss the difficult feelings evoked by the unknown situation.

I wish all children and their parents strength in this unprecedented new reality.

Photo: Paige Cody