Pressure on families

We have been at home for a while and we may stay at home for a while. The pressure has already risen considerably for many families.

Parents with children who have behavioral problems can be quite upset. How do you deal with very busy children who are around you all day and you don’t get to work? How do you ensure that you don’t get overwrought by the situation?

Good questions and unfortunately they are difficult to answer. Staying calm under the current circumstances is simply difficult. The situation is different for everyone, so every approach is different.

STRUCTURE
What we know is that as much structure as possible can help. This means that a fixed rhythm must be worked on, so that children (and also parents) know exactly what is going to happen and what is expected.

MORE TIPS
Alternate moments of work at school and play. Try to come up with activities that allow children to move and get rid of their energy. Give them enough attention and occasionally put your work aside. The more attention you pay to your children in advance, the calmer they will be. Agree with your partner who is watching the children and when. Try to isolate yourself if you do not have to take care of the children and do something fun for yourself regularly. That makes you more resilient and allows you to deal more flexibly with the situation.

QUESTION FROM A MOTHER IN NEED
I was inspired by a question from a mother who had been very angry with her daughter. She had been very unreasonable to her daughter. This is easy to understand, because the stress had risen considerably with the mother and the daughter had put up a lot of resistance, which gave the mother even more stress and made her even more turned out against her daughter.

ANSWER
Mother asked me how she could handle this situation. The answer was simple. You always have the opportunity to repair. You can make it up again. Explain the situation you were in and explain what made you react the way you did. Explain that you responded to your daughter’s behavior and that it has nothing to do with her as a person. Be open to your daughter’s reaction. Confirm her by listening to her side. Do that without filling in from your own perspective.

Mother and daughter were able to make it up to each other. And luckily that often happens in families. It can all go so high, but it can always be fine. Parents can mean a lot in this. Children like to participate in this. They are loyal to their parents.
Parents and children mean well. The circumstances sometimes make us lose ourselves. Especially now, in corona time. Fortunately, parents and children can always count on each other and they can make it up.

I know it is compromising for many people today. I wish everyone strength and wisdom.

Clinical Psychologist

Photo: Caleb Woods